What I wish I’d known?Part 1

I have read, talked about, listened to the endless podcasts and professionals speak about ADHD and what Ive realised is ADHD like every human on this earth unique.Unique how it effects children’s day to day life ,situations they encounter daily, how they are perceived by non family and family members, peers, how it seems everything will effect them much deeper on an emotional level,how medications have to be tried and tested to see if they suit, if that’s what you choose, the side effect of said medications. The list goes on and on..

Woahhh…. I am only new to this life and I do feel it’s like that before I knew and now.. I always wondered how was it so tough with my DD, second born. We never had these issues with her older much more chilled sibling.. Nobody has explained to me what to do in these situations we are having, how to deal with your child when they physically attack you because you said no and stood firm, what to do when you cannot get her to go to school.. I feel what we got was the same as she will have for being that bit different.. Judgement… and yet here I am over here winging this mothering and parenting and when I feel like I am somewhat gaining ground.. BOOM… it will hit like a ten tonne of bricks..Our family life is different than most people’s.. and it hurts.. Hurts on those carefree days.

Isn’t it sad in this day and age and all the knowledge people have of additional needs and mental health issues that people still do that.. Advise you as if you have not one single clue on what to do.. tell her she won’t get to be a teacher if she doesn’t go to school and learn.. yea sure thanks for that.. HOW DID I NEVER THINK OF THAT HUGE HELPFUL TIP.. And that was from our Doctor!

Yes there are traits and personalities but it effects everybody differently .Some will embrace and happily announce their new diagnosis to their peers ,loved ones and strangers in these street and others will take time to accept and understand and sit with it in silence. My daughter are the latter and that is ok with me.. I will go at her pace , feed her information when it’s requested and try my best explain it to her in a childlike way.

Nowhere did I read how to do that how to explain to a child who tries so hard to fit in and be the same that her mind is different than her friends. That it runs like a Ferrari at top speed and that’s why she flits from game to game and friend to friend. I will comfort her when she is sad that she had ADHD and try my best to normalise it for her and make her feel not so different. Of course she’s not different to me , she remains the same little girl that changed my life for the better when she arrived .

We are waiting like so many other families for supports and interventions that Covid has held up. But I do feel Covid has given us the greatest gift of all. Time, space and freedom. Just to be and stay present and focused on each day as it arrives. No pressures to conform to social norms or an education system that is basically one size should fit all. We have taken time to do what we like in our days, paint, bake, take photos, be in nature, play, decorate and make memories. It’s very much a learning day by day and that is what I’ve learned to accept along with helping to guide and support and love her too. We are not perfect, nobody is and that is ok.. But I’m doing my very best and I know that and that’s what’s important.

6 thoughts on “What I wish I’d known?Part 1

  1. I’m really glad to hear that you’ve found a lot of positives during Covid. I can only imagine how difficult things must be at times, but like you said, she’s not different to you. She’s your child and you love her. Congratulations on finding your own way through 🙂

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      1. That’s great Geraldine. I taught my sons as they were growing up and they still use many techniques and have found more for themselves. It’s the best thing you can do, age appropriate of course x

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  2. Covid has brought my family some of the same joys you have described. Not an ideal time for my teen but having said that, it has given us more family time, time to take bike rides and walks, time to laugh and watch movies together, time to talk about worries and plans for college. Most importantly to me at least, it’s given us time to be present and time to just be.

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    1. Yes it’s just given something that will help us all .None of it ideal but very welcomed to give us time to just be , which is a lovely thing to be able to do.

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